KH Bash'a'thon
by Henvdemon Of The Sun
Summary: First fic. please review otherwise can't get on with fic. T just to be safe. Warning lots of random kookiness, not suggested for the sane.
1. The basics

_**I don't own square Enix**_

Here's how it goes. I'm going to bash all the kingdom hearts and final fantasy characters repeatedly and sometimes cruelly.

Depending on reviews will change the characters bashing.

Welcome to KH Bash'a'thon! and without further adieu the bashing! Next chapter. (smirks) Please review.


	2. Flooded Shivering Skies

**_Same disclaimer from the start. Anyway moving on._**

"The unlucky man or boy, whatever you want to call him." (pulls out remote) "Is our roxas look a like!" (Xkokin falls over) "Whoa! Who put this chair here?" (kicks chair bouncing off the screen) "Well crap!"

"Time to mess with Ven for the time being." pulls out an ear bud

"Hey Ven catch!" Terra tosses earphone.

"What the hell am i supposed to do with this?"

"Just plug it in, i have it uh hooked up to my Ipod." (he rushes together a means of escape) "Ven look it's Aqua asking out Vanitas!" (the choco spike flees)

"Where?" (wayward wind appears)

At the Meeting room:

"Alright I gave him the earpiece. Now what?"

"We're going to hypnotize Ven from the castle" (evil smirk)

"…" (Terra spaces out)

"Some music this is. All you can hear is static!" (reaches for the bud)

Pulls out kill switch for Ven. *click* He hits the ground, rises up with birds in his hair. "Terra throw me the controls! No not those the other ones!" (throws old controls back) "WRONG!" (breaks in the background) "I am not picking that up."

"Time for some fun. Ven walk towards Aqua! Not the water! I said Aqua, Aqua! Not Agua, AQUA!" (slams controls against the wall)

Ven runs for the water and about to slam into the unsuspecting girl.

"Alright, I'll get both of them down to the castle. *click* Where did those two g" (azure hair falls in the air)

Aqua's rammed by a mindless Ven. "Ow ow ow hot hot hot (running back and forth) water! I need water!" trips over her again.

**_In the library:_**

"What? He didn't listen. i told him not to eat the peppers." (peppers missing from Marluxia's spice garden)

"Who the fuck ate my peppers? (Rip) (pink strands litter the ground) Roxas!" (scythe drawn hunting the blonde)

"… I'm going to go now, or else we might not get Ven back in one piece." (terra leaves)

"what do you mean?" (puzzled face) xkokin scratches head then shrugs.

_**Back to Ven:**_

"Aqua why is your keyblade out?" (Ven's face bright red from the peppers still)

"No reason. (sing song tune) Ven you're thirsty right?"

"I'm a little thirsty. I could go for a drink right now. Want to come?" (rubs head, then smiles)

"I got a better idea." points key at Ventus ready to fire waterja.

"Water!" tidal waves shoot from the ground

"Dance water Dance" (strings plucked)

"Oopsies. Ven watch out!" she yells chucking Rainfall at him.

"A mullet? Dude the seventies are long over man. LAME! Ow what the hell!" (the blade smacks ven in the head.)

"(cell rings) … oh shit we need to get back. Oh Ven, come here I need to talk to you for a minute."

Water rushes back and forth. Terra poofs in, Aqua starts to freeze all the water in sight. Ven's running for dear life. "I said I'm sorry." water clones chasing him with icicles. Everyone's favorite scythe wielding maniac drops in ready to bash "Roxas".

"There you are! Watch the water works Demyx! Your heart shall be judged! (floats up and chuckles to himself about the pun) Wa" (frozen solid by a misguided blizzaga "or was it?", bouncing off the floor.

"Oopsie sorry!" (she yells, while chasing Ven) "Freeze!"

"Sooo cold.(shivers) ah coffee!" (plays sitar happy as a clam) "Whoa!" (frozen solid dropping arpeggio on his foot)

"Damn it Ven! You made me blast Demyx!" (aims at Ven)

" Teerrraa a little heelllppp?" (nearly a blur now)

"Sorry Ven you're on your own." (head shakes, then turns to look away)

_**At the castle:**_

" Aqua care explaining what happened to Ventus? And perhaps why there are birds in his hair" (puddles forming at Eraqus's and Ven's feet) plucks a bird out.

_**A/N: I changed this a little to make some more sense. Review and the story gets better. Better the reviews the better the next chapter gets. Thanks in advance.**_


	3. Wow

_**I got so bored I decided to make a crew that Won't LEAVE in the heat.**_

Pulls names out of a hat.

" Demyx! "

" Axel "

" Zexion "

" Xemnas "

" Saix "

" Xion "

" Roxas "

" Sora "

" Riku "

" Kairi "

" Namine "

and well you get the picture.

" Riku the disclaimer now! " remembers the envelope.

" What? " flips the bird.

"I didn't stutter emo boy. Now do it or should I leave these photos on the table from the X-mas party?" envelope appears.

"… Xkokin does not own kingdom hearts or Square Enix. Do you?"

"Don't start." opens envelope.

One review again! come on people show a little heart!

Opens the package. evil grin.

"Axel get Larxene quick." pulls out blueprints.

"Saix pull out the moon. Or no dog treats for you." both of them vanish. Saix whimpers.

_**Night falls:**_

"Hey Demyx we found you a girl that loves to play the sitar." axel teases.

" Reallys? " puppy eyes glistening with hope.

" She's right over there. " chucks a chamkra over the lass.

"Goody! Guys why is it dark?" Demy turns to look around.

" Sick 'em boy! " Saix dives down and chases Demyx.

"Saix puppy. sit boy. eh uh oh. Run! Run Away!" the diviner flings lunatic after the nocturne.

"Alright Larx your up." both jump down side back to back.

Both throw chamkras, and Demyx spazzes. Water collects. "Do it" he resummons the eternal flames she nods and sends a little jolt into arpeggio.

"Dance water dance" music plays (_**ZAP**_) "Ow!" drops arpeggio and picks it up again. (repeated seventeen times) The electricity wore off.

"Moon shines down!" Saix dashes for Demy. the others flee to search for riku.

*plays sitar back towards Saix* "Hmph" smacks demyx. "Whoa! (Dem bounces off the floor) Owies!" rubs his head. (anime tears form)

"Water! Come on keep with the beat! Gotcha now!" water flies endlessly at Saix. Demyx smirks as he doesn't notice it gathering above him.

" Playtime's over number nine." snaps his fingers and drenches Demyx, then flushes him in a toilet like fashion as Demyx flees running on the water.

"I need a vacation." saix rubs his temples, as the nocturne is flushed down into the moons core.

"Where am I? Guys this isn't funny! (demyx starts spazzing)"

_**At the skyscraper:**_

"So Kairi likes me?" he quirks his brow.

"Yeah she's nuts for you" the pyro chuckles.

"Roxas send her in" Xkokin voices through earphone.

A girl in a black coat shows up and pulls her hood down.

" Kairi's with the organization?" jaw barely hanging on.

"I'm Xion Riku. (sigh) This is getting me nowhere." draws out keyblade

"…" soul eater appears. "Sora, she's working with the enemy." runs towards her.

"Kairi kick his butt!" Sora cheers.

"Gee, thanks a lot Sora" gets whacked by " Kairi ". Riku holding his shin hopping on the other leg.

"No problem!" Sora does a shitty grin, covers eyes in a stationary fetal position.

Instant repeat of Roxas's fight with Riku. Darkness swirls around Riku, "Not this time you don't" her leg flies up.

"Huh? (crunch!) That was dirty! Why Kairi why?" as Riku crawls on the floor gasping for air.

"I'm Xion! (walks over and beats him with the wig) ugh!" stomps off, steam fuming out both ears.

" Duuude you blew it." (pulls out camera) "This is going on youtube my friend." Xkokin smirks.

_**Needs some work. More reviews the better. Well come on! Thanks in advance if you review otherwise my little friend will show you the door.**_

Little girl from F.E.A.R." play?"


	4. Tarnished Silver Hearts

_**We are starting to get more reviews courtesy of my friend Forbiddy. Thanks for the future reviews.**_

"So Terra we heard Aqua's crushing on you. We here at HQ will feed you lines from the safety of the castle while monitoring you up close with our (snaps fingers) ninja trio; but first Xemnas the disclaimer."

"If you weren't my superior you'd be. forget it. Xkokin doesn't own square Enix. That includes kingdom hearts!"

"You do realize that the moon behind us isn't ours anymore. kingdom hearts? geez your slow."

"What my kingdom hearts is no longer mine? Why!" Xemnas sobs then bashes the wall to pieces.

"Wait didn't we do this with Ven and it utterly failed?" as Terra pushes back.

"Yes we have. Alrighty then, Terra into this room. Load the cannon!" kicking terra into the barrel.

"Your just cannon to me mate and me! (both load the gunpowder) On your command superior." Luxord rifles the cards while Xigbar chuckles evily. "Take this you bastard for taking out me aye!" uses blowgun on Terra.

"…_Fiiirrreee_!" Terra's launched out of the cannon still sleeping like a rock. While Xkokin runs to the monitor.

"Uh sir we forgot to deploy the ninjas!" Xemnas screams, attempting to regain his composure.

"Yeah I know." smiles deviously.

_**The Park:**_

Aqua's just strolling the streets chatting with Kairi. "Kairi you there? Aqua has a suitor crashing in now. Look up." Terra bounces off the floor thrice claiming a hole in the nearby tree.

(anime spinny eyes)" Ow damn squirrels! Those nuts are mine not yours! Hey aqua eh surprise." the brunette squeals.

"Terra are you okay?" she helps him up.

"were you flying?" dusting him off.

"No I was just sleeping in the air. Of course I was flying!"

"So far so good guys. Keep it up." Terra fails to cover the piece.

"Who's on the line Terra?" Kairi sneaks up on said person. "Ah ha! here catch." as she plucks the ear bud.

" Is it me or did you kill off the heat cause your as cold as ice." he blurts, failing to notice the bud is missing. She ignores him.

The earpiece is searched. "Guys they're onto us. Abort mission! Mission has been compromised. run run aways!" line goes dead.

"Care to explain?" rainfall is pulled out, tapping her hand.

" They were trying to help me ask you out." mumbled away "way to keep cool under the heat big guy." mumbled in his mind.

"Kairi get his legs, I'll call the others." knocks out Terra, then bags him.

_**Four hours later:**_

"Wow what happened to you Terra?"

"Oh it was awful!" still shaking at the sight.

_**Flashback:**_

" Hold him down. Aqua bring the laptop over!" she scurries over.

"Hey easy! What are you doing? I can't see a thing!" struggling under the weight of the girls.

"Say cheese!(pulls bag off head and pins him down) Hope you like them!"

"Huh what are you talking ab ab about! (all color drains from his face he goes ghostly pale, eyes begin to melt) My eyes they burn! Cover my eyes cover my eyes for god's sake!" still squirming.

_**Back at the castle:**_

" Ouch man that's just awful. Why they did that I will never understand. They did look and sound a little off didn't they?" Xkokin ponders.

Xigbar chuckles as he replays the video. "you just got slashed by cos-playing fan girls." showing the victim the vid.

Terra runs kicks Zexion out of his corner, then proceeds to rock back and forth in the fetal position.

_**One thorough mind blasting later:**_

"Hey Sora didn't you hear Kairi's cheating on you?" Roxas pesters.

"No you're lying. She loves me, she would never do that to me." scratching his head, annoyed.

"Tell it to the Tele. tell him Tom!" points at the reanimated television from chapter 2.

"She's a whore." the screen cracks. "Oh no. Not again." Tom turns to dust.

"Hey Tom speak to me! TOM! (finds a keychain) Ooh! (picks up ) Shiny." Xkokin's hypnotized by the keychain.

"Come on we'll show you." Roxas drags Sora by the collar into the corridor.

"Riku it's been too long." Xion glomps Riku.

"Yeah i missed you Xixi." he looks around to make sure no one's around. Then pecks her.

"See she's cheating on you. Look auburn hair, cerulean blue eyes. It's her in Riku's arms and their kissing!" Roxas looks shocked and drops his hand.

"No Kairi why? Why after everything we went through? I died for you and was going to propose in next month." the choco spike whimpered.

"Sora it's not what it looks like. (Kairi's memory of saying said line)" she jumps off Riku.

"You cheated on me. I hate you! Why i saved you I'll never know!" draws synch blades "and you i'm too sexy for my shirt i should've left you in the Darkness! Dashes for his friend. RIKU!"

Three minutes into the fight. "Mr. bubbles you know what to do. Fire the launchers! (peanuts, coconuts and banana peels litter the area. Everyone save yourselves!" Xkokin commands then hides. Everyone else slipped in a random mud puddle.

"I hope this is mud." the two keys fall over.

"Should we tell them about the scilo?" Xkokin chuckles.

"Maybe later after they wake up." Roxas rolls around laughing.

"Wow Xion maybe you should wear contacts or something and perhaps lose the wig." Xigbars brow perks up.

"Well I should take Riri back he needs a bath." Xion shrieks pulling on The Gloves.

"Don't have too much fun. Riku be a good boy now!" Xigbar poofs away.

"Okay. Ooooh! (pulls Riku to bathroom)" Xion starts muttering still steamed.

"Do it. (start chuckling) Hand me the sign." puts up sign. _**Warning hormone driven teen couple! **_

_**Thanks for the reviews. What'll happen next? Well that's for you to decide. Keep the reviews coming. Hailing cookies!**_


	5. Molten Surprise!

"Welcome to another smashing episode of KH Bash'a'thon We have a new guest that you may remember from other fics. Say hello to ForbiddenKHfan216 say a few words could ya?"

Biddy flies in. "What's up everybody? Now, why don't we get the party started my friends?" biddy flies in.

"Now onto the disclaimer. Xkokin the disclaimer now!"

"Henvdemon does not own Square Enix. only me himself and part of the plot." the nobody grumbled

"Wow no resistance this could be useful later. " pulls out a video cam "Xkokin catch!" throws cam to nobody.

"Lord superior we found something you may want to see." dragging xemnas along

"Saix what is it? i was in the middle of plotting my revenge on those wretched kids!" Xemnas is thrown to the ground in front of the tele. "Watch where your throwing me! Oh it's you, what do you want?"

"We found your heartless. He's been stalking Riku again." turns on the TV. "We told him to stay away from the pool, but he doesn't listen. Well we obviously know he didn't so, now we have this to deal with" (sighs) the diviner passes out, Nikko turns to Saix. "What a mess!"

"All I gotta say about the pool is… this is so not gonna end well! I need to go get some snacks to enjoy this right." biddy zips into the castle.

"Hey wait you can't go into the castle yet! Part of the floor's missing from last nights sparring match!

The Pool That Never Was:

"Riku why won't you accept for me what I am?" pleaded Ansem

"Your a creepy pedo. Now get off of me!" shoves Ansem, summons soul eater bashes him in the chest.

"Whoa whoa! (falls into an empty pool) You'll pay for this you shall all pay! (muffled by squeaky toy)" gags and passes out, Ansem turns deep blue.

_**Two hours later:**_

" Guys it time. Pull it in. Closer, closer, closer and stop!" Xkokin and Nikko open the lids "Everyone to your stations."

"Aye aye, captain!" (buccaneer hat tossed onto biddy's head)

"Superior! What do we do?" the trio arrives thrashing Saix

"No no I'm fine; just a walking stop sign. Ugh.(faints)" the diviner struggles to get up.

"Xion get Xigbar, Axel nab Vexen and Roxas get Demyx. Now go!" they poof into smoke and disperse in ninja suits? "Everyone else man your sauce! Damn it Luxord I heard it too! Shut up!" draws card and hits Luxord.

"You shave my beard!" Luxord draws a deck for a card war.

"You guys should hide. (pulls out a tarot deck) Scatter!" Nikko commands.

"Uh oh. Stop! (cards don't obey) Ow. Ow. OW!" caked in paper cuts, the gambler runs for the ointment. Then falls through the hole mentioned earlier. "Now where'd that ointment go? Whoa!" he stays on the ground.

" Nikko we got them just like you asked." all tired "We are never running like that again!" Axel's hair starts to sag, Xion faints and Roxas just catches his breath.

"Guys you should probably lose the ninja costumes too." Nikko chuckles then approaches the pool.

"Oh right. Roxas take care of Xion and NO Funny bussiness got it?" as the pyro peels the bandana.

(Blushes) "Okay. ….. Hey!" Roxas peels the costumes off.

"Vexen when the pool fills and Ansem is marinated freeze him solid, but don't kill him. Xigbar find a giant platter warp it here, then warp the sicle onto it. Demyx wash up the man down there. (Nikko points). He said mullets suck and David Bowie's a joke." (smirk forms)

"Blasphemy! (voice goes sinisterly dark for a minute) Dance Water Dance!" The hot sauce rushes out of the bottles into the hollow pool. "I want to see you burn! Evil laugh. chords get darker and deeper the sauce gets into Ansem's eyes, hair and his mouth.

"What's goooiiiiinggg on? Get me out! I don't like(stutters) I don't like this ride!" he swallows a mouthful of hot sauce. picks up a bottle that hits his side."What the hell is this stuff? Black Mamba hot sauce and marinade? Mmmph. Ow. Ow. Ow! Hot, hot, hot. I need water now!" mouth begins to steam. Face goes tomato red and hair starts shrinking, begins to itch like crazy.

_**Four minutes later:**_

"Good job Demyx now go with Axel. We need you guys to capture or lure a million shadow, neoshadow and darkside heartless. Axel get their attention and Demyx run like holy hell." (hands them a container)

" What's in this?" Demyx tosses to Axel.

"Better not to know. Now get moving!" kicks both of them in the ass(not literally) Xkokin laughs. "I hope they don't realize what's in the container."

_**Seven minutes later:**_

Demyx running "Whoa! (smashes container open) Axel what's this? (holds up the container)"

"That would be heart. Why is that there? Oh Demyx you should probably start running now. (points to heartless mob forming behind him.) Like now!" Axel runs then sits back while Demyx keeps them busy.

"Hotshit! Run run away!" heartless stampede right behind him."Axel knock them into the pot!" a giant pot appears out of nowhere while Demyx still spazzing, chucking the container into the pot.

_**Back at the pool:**_

"I shall freeze you now!" he raises his hand freezing Ansem. " Number two your up!" he dismisses Frozen Pride.

"Alright! Alright. Geez. (Summons portal throwing Ansem onto a giant decorated platter.) Better?" xig warps the platter under a floating giant pot. Then proceeds to shoot the supports.

"Guys pull out your markers and kick back this should take only a minute." Nikko and Xkokin help Axel knock all the heartless into the pot.

"Hahaha, look! His face's all red!" Forbidden laughs as Ansem gives the kids a furious glare through the 4 inch ice barrier. He tries to wiggle loose but nothing happens. He was stuck.

"Now for the coupe de grace!" Axel says with a smirk as he pulls out a magic marker.  
Everyone takes turns writing the most random stuff on the Heartless's body.

" Now time for the screams. Ansem loves to use heartless so much. We're going to cover him with the things!" turns the pot on high. "Axel lick them up!"

" Let the Flames Burn You!" fire circles the pot making it go a dark blue. "Burn Baby!" the pot incinerates the last supporting beams, splashing the river of yellow beads.

Ansem struggles to move " Take cover! (jumps down and ducks behind a rock wall) Thanks Lexeaus!" we all laugh at Ansem.

"Now we wait." Nikko twiddles thumbs, Two minutes later:

"Aaaahhhh. Get off of me! I"m your master. Attack them!" they emerge halfway and freeze onto him.

"So what should we do now?" asking biddy.

"I have no idea. Well… I have ONE." Forbidden snaps her fingers.

"Wait not yet! (pulls out rabbit food, drills holes into the ice and fills it with vegetables) Okay go!" the twins jump back.

Ansem screams in pure agony. "NOT A BUNNY!"

"Say hello to my little friend from Monty Python!" The rabbit starts mauling the defenseless Ansem as Forbidden gives a peace sign and vanishes into thin air.

"Quick Xkokin throw me the camera! YouTube time! Smile for the camera!" (evil smug grin) The pot rolls down, Ansem gets up, scratching like crazy until. (thump) The pot landed on him.

"Jail bait much?" we warp away.

_**A/N: Thanks for the help biddy. Was it better? Worse? Review damn it! Heh just kidding! Please do review though!**_


	6. Pacific Feather Cookies

_**Busts through door:**_

"Guys I have great news!(starts jumping up and down with excitement) We're going to the beach!" Nikko still jumping a hole in the floor.

"Then why are you so excited?" everyone else surrounds the boy.

"I love the beach! Now before I forget. Sora the disclaimer." tosses cookie.

"Yay cookie! (pops into mouth) Munch, munch, munch. Nikko doesn't own Kingdom Hearts." sora finishes. "Can i have another one?"

"In the kitchen, take it easy though. I made those and they dissolve teeth." pulls up list.

"How much sugar did you throw into the cookies?" Kairi asks while tugging at soras sleeves.

"Not much, maybe two or three times the recommended amount? Oh yeah he's going to be acting funny soon." the baker starts to sneak away.

"Gotcha!" Xion pulls him in.

"You know I'm not a Pokemon." Nikko pouts.

"What else is in the cookies?" Zexion poofs in.

"I'll never tell!" poofs away.

_**At the Islands:**_

"That's better. No more worries. ... Zzz." the baker fell asleep.

"There he is. Let's sneak up and get him!" the group whispers.

"Kai I don't feel too good. The worlds spinning." Sora falls over and sleeps.

"You shouldn't have eaten, so many. (sighs shaking her head) Come on Mr. sleepyhead. Off to bed you go." Kairi nabs Sora, taking him to his room.

_**Sora's room:**_

"Well well what do we got here? Looks like you haven't been a good boy Sora. Too bad. I was looking forward to giving you this. (holds up his key-chain) Maybe later, I guess." Xigbar warps away.

"Cookies. cookies? Cookies? (the brunette sobs)" Sora leaves his room.

**_Back to the Bashing:_**

"Ah Sora just the person I needed to see. Come with me. I have more cookies if you listen." pulls out another box.

"Okay! So what do you want?" he tries sneaking into the box.

Slaps Sora's hand "No not now." Nikko laughs.

_**Destiny Islands Library:**_

"Okay that book was a dud. Now for the next one." reaches for pile realizing there is no more. the schemer portals to the selection.

"Do I have to? (Sora whines) Alright fine. Give me the glove." hands Sora the glove.

"What do we do?" the group whispers.

"Just sit here and wait." the baker whispers

"Sora do you need something? If you don't leave." he turns his back returning to the selection.

"Bitch Slap!" Sora slaps Zexion.

"Sora. (growls) come here i have a story for you." he summons the lexicon.

"Uh oh." Sora starts running luring Zexion into the trap. Sora pukes and moves while Zexion flies into the trap.

"Wait for it. (X3) Now!" the entire group dog piles Zexion.

_**One hour later:**_

"Where am I?" he begins to struggle underneath the bindings.

"The "happy house". Ready guys. Man your feathers! Sora man the hose!" Everyone gets to their stations.

"Oh right!" pulls up phone.

Organization13girl poofs in.

"Where am I?" she asks.

"About to help." hands her a giant feather. "let's get him!"

"What's going on?" he breaks one rope.

"Fire the hose! Axel dry him off!" water blasts Zexion and then fire instantly dries him. "Wow Zexion nice hairdo. (chuckles)." pulls out giant feathers for the others. "on your command."

"Tickle him!" she shouts

"Wha? what are you guys? (feathers connect) ah hahahahahaha. (you see where this is going)" the schemer flails unable to conceal his laughter.

"Tell us the antidote to Nikko's cookies!(tickles faster)" Kairi tickles twice as hard.

"Never!" Zexion begins bursting into tears.

"Alright pull out the Tickle master 5000, Kassy man the machine. (tosses her the keys)" Nikko sits back, lips sealed, whilst smirking.

"Okay!" mans the machine, tickles Zexion for three minutes straight. "Tell us the antidote!" cranks the machine up.

"Zex give up Sora's looking a tad of irish lime. He may spew any minute. (pushes Sora near the nobody) Last chance before you get infected by So germs." pats Sora's back.

"Alright I give. The antidote is no more cookies. That's right Sora we know that little deal you made. The gig is up. Those cookies are evil!" as Zexion attempts to regain his composure.

"I'll be taking these. (snatches cookies from Sora)Silly goose you don't eat more than seventeen a day. I bet you don't have any teeth left do you? (opens his mouth and looks) Yep thought so. The good thing is they will come back in a few days. Here catch! (tosses Sora a black potion) That should cure your addiction. The Vanilla! That has seventy-five percent alcohol in the batch. That might be why."

Riku poofs in "So, Sora got drunk off of cookies? Woooow I thought I've seen it all." shocked then begins to cackle rolling on the ground.

"Now what to do with all these cookies?" the baker glances then has an idea.

_**Seven Minutes later:**_

"Cookie fight!" screamed by all. Cookies flying back and forth. The treats hit Zexion in the stomach forcing his mouth open.

"Aim for his mouth!" Xion chucks a cookie at his stomach while another flies in.

"Poor Zexion. Tied up in the middle of a cookie brawl while still being tickled by the TM5000 on auto. This is not going to end well for him. Good night everybody!" Grabs another box, "hey save some for me!" jumps in to pwn the ill fated schemer.

"I don't feel so good." green and still laughing.

_**A/N Needs some work. Remember review. Thanks for the idea Kass.**_


	7. Spacial Zap

_**At the Castle:**_

"Axel get back here!" as the new Superior's coat is burning before him.

"No way! This is just too much fun! (as the pyro draws bottle-rockets)" lights them aimed for Nikko.

"Ah hell no! (redirects the rockets) Fight fire with fire they say. Well here you go!" enlarges rockets and fires.

"Uh oh! (portals away) That was a close one. (wipes sweat off forehead) Wait that doesn't sound riigghhtt!" missiles track Axel and collide. "HOT SHIT!"

_**Off in the distance:**_

Poof. Mushroom cloud appears.

"Dang kids!" old man Jenkins yells toting his shotgun.

_**Back to the castle:**_

Axel tied to his chair in the meeting room. "Huh where am I? Why am I all black?" he questions, struggling shaking off the soot.

A five year old walks in. "Hi mister! (sits down and inserts a disc into the Walkman hooked up to Axel's chair) Misters yous want a cookie?"

"Sure if you untie me." cookie is shoved into the pyro's mouth, the ropes begin to burn.

"I love you! You love me! (begins singing barney song while the music plays off the chair Axel was tied to) Mister you wants another cookie?" the gremlin pulls out a box of the stuff.

"You bet!" the pyro agrees whilst sprinting to the box.

"On one conditions. (pulls out a list) You stay here and sing with me!" the little boy jumps up.

"Sure whatever. (munches on the cookies) Hey kid where'd you get these cookies?" he begins to fall over and stumble.

"I got'em from the nice man in the hall. What was his name uh Xkokin?" he sits down muttering to himself while the song is paused.

"I've heard that name somewhere, but where? (Axel falls over) Hey kid! Let's get this song over with I need a nap!" begins to turn green.

"Okays!(sings the song that I the author will not right because it would be sheer torture for me to write.) All done!" he walks out.

"Thank God!" Falls over, and faints.

_**A cupboard opens up underneath Zexion's chair:**_

"Oh how did this happen?(holding head to prevent explosion of brain skittles from the tortuous tune)"

_**Flash Back:**_

"Guys tie him down!" Xkokin pulls out cursed rope.

_**One dog pile pummeling later:**_

"Looking good! Hand me the cookies box. Don't worry these are a different batch. (pulls out the minty cookies) Nikko throw him in the cupboard!" walks up to help secure Zexion.

"All set! Now the cookies! (pulls out the box) Hope you like them!" closes the door with Zexion's head taped into the box.

_**Back to the Meeting Room:**_

"I'll get you guys for this!" he whimpers rocking back and forth in the fetal position stoned off his hat.

_**In the Kitchen:**_

"Xaldin the disclaimer! Or should I tell Belle?" Xkokin chucks a marshmallow while chuckling.

"All right you didn't need to go that far! (sigh) Nikko does not own Square Enix, however he does own himself, myself, the randomness and the plot." he walks off to torture beast.

"Number three that last part is what I say not you!" Summons two become one and chases xaldin. "Get back here you whirlwind mop!" running after number three.

"Hey are those marshmallows? The experimental marshmallows? (Xion eats two) Xion could I see that bag of marshmallows?" Signals to hand it over. She eats one more.

"All right everyone to my room. Hurry! (dashes for the room) Everyone grab two." draws magnum marshmallow shooter and a shotgun shooter.

"What now?" they all load the shooters.

"We shoot Xigbar with these!" the marshmallows are drugged. Xion falls to the floor, but is caught by Axel.

_**Xigbar's room:**_

"Take that Vexen for being an unbodacious brohan!" he draws the arrow guns.

_**In the dream:**_

"Number Two why are you destroying my lab?" as the academic attempts to freeze the free shooter.

"Because you're too uptight. Your elements ice and yet you act like, like Axel!" his eye patch begins to loosen.

"Get back here!" he jumps after Xigbar while number two warps away leaving Vexen to unintentionally destroying his lab.

_**Back to the room:**_

"Aim for the mouth. Demyx, Kaxan tickle Xigbar." hands over feathers. Readies MS (marshmallow shooters what did you think I meant. Ew!)

"Hey guys what's going on? (mouth muffled mid sentence with multiple ms barrels) Oh so you want to play that game?" draws up MS arrow-guns.

"Hey guys!" stepping back

"Yes" the others ask following lead.

"Run!" the others dash behind.

"Fluffy Bunny Attack!" turns around shooting marshmallows at Xigbar.

"Hey stop that! Multi fluffy bunny attack!" shoots twenty marshmallows per person into their mouth. "It's over. (sighs) What the?" mouthful of the experimental marshmallows.

"The mission's a success guys! Time to head home. Drags Xigbar into the room Axel was locked in. Sets up cattle prods to shock Xiggy if he moves even the slightest and shoots pepper up his nose.

"Oh no. (sturggles) (achoo!)" Zap!

_**A/N: What'll happen to Xigbar when we let him out? Will Luxord get his beating? Find out on the next chapter! Review!**_


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